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“You cannot be Serious?”

Date: 22nd June 2017

It’s that time when we start to think about Wimbledon and the most contentious player ever to make the centre court always comes to my mind. The Wimbledon Championships reach their 140th birthday this year and even the Great British Menu is serving up weeks of celebration whilst we, in football are being asked to swallow increasingly bizarre fayre.

It is when I read the whole disarray in which the SFA have once again found themselves that John McEnroe’s phrase comes springing to mind and is a constant refrain ringing in my head.

Item 1 SSSH… the Women’s Team have made the European Championships.

In an amazing own goal meriting the types of headlines you can but imagine had this been the men’s game, the SFA are in dispute with the people who got us to a major championship. With a media ban in place, the media trying to get answers from new coaches and current players and the players, who have sacrificed panty for their country now refusing to answer those same questions because the answers they are getting from the SFA re their returns for their sacrifices are not good enough. This spells farce better than any hotel botch up or Burger King munch of recent years.

Item 2 The World Cup in Argentina that we arenae going to…

In the ironical headline of all ironical headline. The scene of one of our greatest world cup games and campaign disasters strikes again. The Cerebral Palsy (CP) squad qualified to represent us at the World Cup. The SFA have said that due to the changes now being implemented by the international CP governing body where if you have a British passport you can represent any of the 4 nations this might lead FIFA to force us to have a UK team… they have WITHDRAWN the CP squad form the World Cup! I kid you not, having failed to qualify to a major men’s finals in decades we have taken the decision to no bother going to a world cup….

Item 3 Project, no sae Brave, we’re no sae sure, it’s no sae good

Rumours are rife that all is not well in the whole change to youth football which is in a bit of a fuddle. There appears to be a splinter group of unhappy clubs that are refusing to take the we are in charge and you will build facilities that you cannot afford and bankrupt your club approach as outlined by the SFA – how dare they…

Item 4 Newton’s Laws and any others do not apply to us sir…

Apparently both Mr Regan and Mr Doncaster seem to be saying that they have it on good authority that FIFA says that people who don’t like them and are responsible for the law of their land are not allowed to touch them – maybe they have a note from their mums. In an astonishing appearance before the Scottish Parliament they seem to be claiming that FIFA says they are above the law… Outgoing Scottish Children’s Commissioner, Tam Baillie who said the SFA were unfit to police their own youth football is, like many normal and sane people, shaking their heads and wondering why the symbol for Scottish Football is not the unicorn or the Dodo.

Item 5 Your voice…

Where is it? The paying punter, the people on the terraces – where is that voice? Surely now a national organisation would be at the front of the media screaming? The problem is that there are very few places where they can make their voices heard within the structure of the game – SFSA are making their voice heard, however, from the outside.

It made me think that my local Bowling Club have trouble running their raffle each week and often wonder why. In an ironic move, I intend, in the spirit of the SFA to put together a list of structural reasons as to why the SFA would be best not being anywhere near it…

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