SFSA BLUE PLAQUES LAUNCH FIND OUT MORE
Date: 27th February 2026
Iwelumo dials in
By Donald C Stewart
A sketchy and humorous look at the outpourings of the great, the good and the not so good of Scottish fitba’ by Donald C Stewart. Readers are warned that if they take this seriously then therapy is available – just let us know where you find it so we can pass it on to others…
A Perthshire farm has confirmed that St Johnstone have contacted them looking to have training based on the farm in the next few weeks. It was claimed that the reason for this was because this farm in the Perthshire area had the largest number of barn doors, however St Johnstone would have to bring their own sticks.
Players will apparently report for training after St Johnstone’s Josh Fowler managed to stop St Johnstone’s Sam Stanton’s shot off the line as they attempted to break the deadlock in their championship game against Raith Rovers in Kirkcaldy last Friday. The shot, about six or seven yards out from the goal line was a dead cert heading towards the back of the net until Josh Fowler’s “big heid” got in the way and cleared it.
This followed Fowler’s own attempt to score which came back off the crossbar.
In further claims being made by nobody in particular, Chris Iwelumo has allegedly made contact in the hope he can be drafted in to take the sessions. Most people are still in trauma after witnessing, in 2010 from only nine yards out, how he managed to sky it over the bar in a World Cup qualifying game against Norway. It was deemed to be the miss of the century on his debut for Scotland. Iwelumo has been unable to escape from the miss. In a highlight of this writer’s career, on Off the Ball, he met with Iwelumo in the studio. Iwelumo managed to get through almost the entire hour of his appearance without hearing either Tam or Stuart mention it, until right at the end, they couldnae help themselves.
The photograph of Iwelumo’s face straight after the miss went viral. Whether or not Josh Fowler’s head in his hands will have its own meme after his defensive heroics for Raith Rovers – we will wait and see.
It reminded a few people, but then again too few to mention, but we will anyway, of the time Rovers had their forward and current BBC pundit, Ryan Stevenson, taking the gloves and be the goalkeeper when they suffered a goalkeeping crisis. On this occasion, they didn’t need the goalkeeper to keep it at 0-0.
In the meantime, the Perthshire farm cannot be found anywhere on the map and St Johnstone are trying to keep it a big secret, so tell nobody.
But if you see a lot of St Johnstone players running about with sticks, perhaps chasing Josh Fowler into various parts of the Perthshire countryside, it will be Sam Stanton, no doubt, who will be in the front attempting to beat him into submission, making sure that he never repeats this remarkable feat again.
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Tags: Scottish fans, Scottish football