Michael Stewart & Chris Sutton nuff said

Date: 27th August 2021

Our resident writer Donald Stewart’s second weekly SFSA blog.

“Michael Stewart & Chris Sutton nuff said”

It is that time of the year when weans are back at the school and some start to think of friendships, new starts and lost companions. Somewhere in the Tynecastle aera there are two who have this much in their thoughts.

Last year, the two people now sitting opposite each other with a mission never really seen eye to eye but…

There was always someone who could intercede and stop it getting out of hand…

But then, young Stewart is pointing to the wee boy Griffiths…

If anyone was going to come between them…

Picture the scene…

The boy Sutton, English by pride, is sat, sitting looking at the boy Stewart, him with his ginger head shaking and his sour Edinburgh face scowling.

But the boy Sutton was not to be dissuaded.

“You cannot be serious. I think you are having a laugh.” He says whilst looking the boy Stewart right between the eyes.

The boy Stewart shuffles back in his chair, straightens his face, no easy task, and then responds, “If the wee French fella does go back home for the months we are talking about, wee Griffiths is the very boy to sort things out.”

The boy Sutton brings his seat forward and tries the soft approach. “But the French guy might not be the only one leaving. The boy Griffiths, I heard, might also be going.”

“That does not matter.” Explained the boy, Stewart. “I think the wee yin deserves his chance. We both know we shall have to go out and get new ones in, but we might have the very thing we need handy. I mean the big fella you were talking about might not be ready to come in and pick up such a big role.”

The boy Sutton responds whilst trying to keep his cool, “We can talk about him coming in, a big physical guy, maybe to replace the French fella if he goes, but…”

He does not get to the end of the sentence as the boy Stewart interrupts, “If the wee French guy is to leave then you need a replacement – but we have options. The boy Griffiths is still here, and he is someone I think you can get a performance out of.”

The boy Sutton cannot believe his ears, “You can’t rely on the boy Griffiths.”

Mr Stewart counters with, “You are not relying on him, you’re talking about a few …”

The boy Sutton stays with an incredulous face saying, “You’re talking about trying to win over a lot of people you can’t chuck people in if they are not fit for it. There are question marks over the boy Griffiths’ attitude.”

The boy Stewart would not let go and argued, “I disagree. I think there are shows, particularly this month, where you can get the wee boy Griffiths onstage, and he will perform perfectly.”

At that the boy Sutton stood up, ready to flounce out. He rails, “We aren’t in a position to take anyone lightly and I think that was what you are suggesting is just pure rubbish. We have been given a task and you are just pure rubbish at this, and I am going off to play in the sand box.”

And with that the argument closed, both the boy Sutton and the boy Stewart went back to playing together in the sand pit and the two action men, Griffiths and the wee French dude were abandoned by the side of the box of barbies never to as we never found out just who was going to get the lead in their show as it never happened. As if that would ever happen in real life…

 

Whilst the author asserts his right to this as an original tale, there is no evidence that two boys called Sutton and Stewart ever played Action Men, therefore this is clearly a work of fiction.

The fact is that during the week, Chris Sutton and Michael Stewart had an on-air barney as they clashed over a difference of opinion when asked about Celtic’s striking options. Both pundits agree reinforcements are sorely required if he does exit stage left but Sutton was aghast at the suggestion fringe man Leigh Griffiths could be part of the solution as suggested by Michael Stewart…”

 


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