Mr. Boyd show nae loyalty…

Date: 11th January 2022

“Mr. Boyd show nae loyalty…”

The return of our blogs from our resident writer Donald Stewart.

“It’s pick up time at the local primary school…

Everyone is there waiting for their weans as the local celebrity, Mr. Boyd arrives for his little cherub.

The school, which is nestled along the Ayrshire coast, with a faint sea breeze wafting from the ocean and the sun glinting as it reflects form a long dormant volcanic mass in the ocean, it takes no time at all before Mr. Boyd is giving his opinion on all he wishes to.

There is one common thread…

Picture the scene…

It is 2.55pm, Tuesday afternoon. Most of the people in the throng are stay at home mums, press ganged grannies or those people doing favours for friends in return for favours they have already had done for them.

There are around 100 people standing outside the high fence of the school.

Mr. Boyd has the ear of a few of those waiting patiently…

“I mean,” he continues. “When I think of the problems in a sand pit, I can see where he is coming from.”

The rest of the people in his group are unaware of how they got from a simple, “good afternoon” to the wholesale examination of the incident in primary four where a dispute arose over whose turn it was to play there. One of the parents in the group had lamented that their child had acted unfairly by not giving up their turn. It was this which Mr. Boyd was musing over when he completed his analysis with, “I mean, you have to realise, there is no loyalty in the sand pit.”

One of the others in the group decide to try and take things off in a different direction by asking if people had read the latest newsletter form the head teacher. Within the newsletter the headteacher had lamented the departure and retirement of the much loved music specialist. It looked now as if there would be a new specialist coming to the school and the rumour was that it was not a music person but an art specialist. This would be a shame given the progress made by the school band, many moaned, though nobody brought the discussion to a conclusion swifter than Mr. Boyd.

After listening to individual views for all of 90 seconds, he interjected with, “oh aye, but you have to remember that, in the arts, you have to realise, there is no loyalty in the arts. And as for the tone of the newsletter. The regret?” Mr. Boyd scoffed and continued, “I heard that the headteacher had wanted rid of the music guy a year ago. I mean, you have to realise, there is no loyalty in the staffroom.”

Unaware that everybody was now frantically looking at their watch to see if the bell would ring soon, Mr. Boyd squinted at the horizon. The sun was now coming down swiftly upon the county and he was thinking about what he could do with for his tea. Having children over limited his usual options as he liked to eat with them what they were having. Then he thought, why not a wee treat? Then he thought, why not ask the people there what was a good wee treat for the weans?

And he did.

It being a relatively middle class neighbourhood, the response he got ranged from, “that wee vegan place does an exceptional avocado thing with chilli oil to die for” to “avoid the café on the Sandgate, the one with the Italian sounding name, because they were once awfully rude to me when I asked if their chickens were free range”.

Reflecting upon the options he had been given and the usual offers he would make to his kids, he opined, “usually we make it to MacDonald’s but the last time, the wee one decided she wanted a KFC. I have a funny feeling though she might go for Pizza Hut, I mean, what you have to realise is, that there is no loyalty in fast food.”

With that came the bell, signalling time for the kids to disperse through the playground towards their adult charges and to make their way home – or to the fast food outlet of their choices. It was a welcome relief for the group as Mr. Boyd left them in peace.

Following that encounter any time that Mr. Boyd arrived on parental duty he was aware that nobody approached him or stand to speak with him. You can imagine what he thought…


Whilst the author asserts his right to this as an original tale, there is no evidence that Mr. Boyd ever spoke to people when picking up his kids, unless you know differently, therefore this is clearly a work of fiction, though it does use the words of Mr. Boyd within the telling of the tale.

The fact is that during the Holiday period, Mr. Boyd was asked his opinion over new Rangers’ signing James Sands being given Niko Katic’s number 19 shirt. He responded as follows, ““It also looks like Rangers will be losing another defender with Niko Katic’s Ibrox days looking numbered now. The Croatian’s No 19 shirt was given to new signing James Sands, suggesting he will not be back in Govan. There is no loyalty in football and this is just what happens.”


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