Mr. Ellison has a tribunal

Date: 22nd March 2021

The latest blog from SFSA writer Donald Stewart:

Tall and bald, Mr. Ellison has a disciplinary hearing to attend.

Having been reprimanded in the past for some negative behaviour by his supervisor at Lidl, Mr. Ellison is now standing outside the manager’s office awaiting his turn to be reprimanded and disciplined by the area manager who has come down to the store for this express purpose.

Just at that point, the Union man appointed to support Mr. Ellison comes down the corridor. Mr. Ellison does a double take as he finds himself staring his nemesis straight in the face.

Mr. Ellison is not best pleased, for the man the union has sent is none other than Mr. Adams…

Picture the scene…

Mr. Ellison fell out with Mr. Adams when they worked together. Supervisor, Mr. Adams did not rate Mr. Ellison and thinking he was too old to be part of his team, had him transferred. Mr. Ellison had been waiting for an opportunity to get his own back on Mr. Adams for what he thought was highly unfair treatment, given the length of service and dedication he had given in his job, but Mr. Adams was Impervious. A stony faced Scot, there were many who thought Mr. Adams was a tad too high and mighty, given his patchy record.

That he should be a Union man now beggared belief, thought Mr. Ellison but this is where he found himself and he must now contend with working out what should happen next.

He stood apart from the manager’s door as Mr. Adams smiled like a victim about to be devoured and motioned with his head that they ought to walk away from the manager’s office. Probably, thought Mr. Ellison, for Mr. Adams to apologise for being an idiot before and wanting to make things right before representing him. It was not to be his first error that day.

Mr. Adams had no such intention. In fact, he was even more sure now as he was then that Mr. Ellison should have been moved. That morning he had been handed Mr. Ellison’s file and had smiled inwardly that after all this time, he was to be proven right.

But then again, he was to defend him.

How was he going to do that? What was the offence? How would he manage to do in his enemy but also make it look like he did all that he could to get him off?

And then an idea formed in his mind…

Mr. Ellison followed Mr. Adams to another room and was now sitting across from him. There was a chill in the air, and it had nothing to do with the air conditioning.

Mr. Adams opened the file in front of them both, cleared his throat and in his Scots burr, which he knew annoyed Mr. Ellison started the questions.

“OK, it says in here you were rude, confrontational and quite smelly.”

Mr. Ellison frowned. “What? Where does it say that?”

Mr. Adams moves the folder to one side so that Mr. Ellison could not see what had been written. “I think I overheard it when the interviews were happening.” The effect was exactly what he hoped for as Mr. Ellison’s face got redder and redder and he started to become agitated.

“That is a downright lie! I want to know who said that? Can you remember who said that? I demand to know who said that!”

Mr. Adams asks, “Were you?”

Mr. Ellison looks fit to burst. “Are you kidding me on? Of course not. Who would ask that? I mean who would ask anyone that kind of question? I demand you tell me right now who it was that said that. I want them in here, right this minute to answer to this. I have never been so insulted in all of my life. This is patently ridiculous.”

As he had hoped, Mr. Ellison’s rant was getting louder and having chosen a room with a large window to the side, there were a few people having gathered outside at the coffee machine, unable to move through curiosity. They were transfixed by the sight of the wee and rather pudgy Scot sitting and the tall and increasingly louder employee towering over the wee man with a redder and redder face. Being bald just heightened the effect.

Mr. Adams decides to deliver his coup de grace. He shuffles in his seat and asks, “Is there something off in here? I mean personal hyg…”

He did not get to finish his sentence as Mr. Ellison exploded.

There were expletives, a red face and as he had hoped, two security guards now taking Mr. Ellison out the room, down the corridor and out the building.

As he is shown the door and too late, Mr. Ellison realises that he has been played. As he is leaving, he turns to one of the security guards and pleads with him to let him back in. ““I knew something was going to happen. I was more than happy. I don’t care what anyone says. He disrespected me, I don’t like him, that’s how it goes.”

But the sunshine upon this spring day only records his exit and not his quite sincere outrage…


Whilst the author asserts his right to this as an original tale, there is no evidence that a certain Mr Adams has ever been in a Lidl, never mind been a supervisor there so this is clearly untrue though a certain Mr. Ellison did utter those final words about a Mr. Adams recently.


During the week, Kevin Ellison, veteran striker of Newport County scored against his former club, Morecombe. It came after he had been let go by the Morecombe manager, Derek Adams, deeming him too old and surplus to requirements. After having scored, Ellison ran straight to Adams on the touchline and showed just how much it meant to him. After wards he spoke to the press about his feelings thus, ““Maybe people will say it was written in the stars. I was quite happy with it as you could see from my celebration. The way Derek Adams treated me was disrespectful, so why not. I’m glad Newport got the result and I owed them one.  It was the way he went about saying things. If he had been honest enough, and man enough, to tell me ‘I don’t fancy you, you’re 41, go and find a club’, I’d have respected him for that. But he didn’t. He did things behind my back, but it came back to bite him on Saturday, didn’t it? I’m just sorry it didn’t happen in the home game as well because it would have been nice to do it in both fixtures against them. I knew something was going to happen. I was more than happy with my celebration, I don’t care what anyone says. He disrespected me, I don’t like him, that’s how it goes.” Nice to see Derek is still in work though…

Posted in: Latest News