BILLY BREMNER MEMORIAL JOIN OUR CAMPAIGN
Date: 2nd March 2025
Mr. Goodwin wants to know if it is within the rules…
The Tangerine Dream Shop, Tannadice, Dundee.
Mr. Goodwin was a proud man.
He had plenty of reasons to be proud.
Years ago he was seen as the laughing stock of many after a visit as one of the top salesmen in Ayrshire and now he was one of the top franchises in the country.
His future was bright.
His future.
Tangerine.
Picture the Scene
Mr. Goodwin is seated in his company office. A sparse and spartan edifice to new modernity with things all shiny and some might even say sterile.
Sitting behind the desk with his beard trimmed, his accent less than cut glass, and his eyes staring at you as if they had gone through you and bounced off the wall behind you, Mr. Goodwin was in good humour though he was also rather confused.
Tilting his head to one side like a puppy unable to hear properly, Mr. Goodwin was asking Mr. Gollum once again to repeat the reason why he had been denied the top sales prize for this month.
Things had been going well for Mr. Goodwin recently. He had managed to climb up the ladder of the league table for top franchises in the country and was sitting pretty close to the top spot but there had been a sales inspection when up against an Edinburgh franchise.
Head-to-head against the Leith based franchise the Tangerine Dream Shop found themselves level pegging after incredible footfall of over 10,000, but his opposite number Mr. Gray walked away more content and happier because they beat the Tangerine Dream Shop due to a decision taken by one of the judges visiting the shops: a certain Mr. McDermid who appeared to help the principal judge Mr. Dickinson when Mr. Goodwin felt that his Tangerine Dream Shop had managed to put themselves slightly ahead of their Leith counterparts. But the sale deemed unable to be registered which was ruled out by Mr. McDermid that Mr. Dickinson had originally suggested should stand was the substance of their dispute.
Mr. Goodwin was sitting in his office across from Mr. Gollum, the head judge for the whole of the country asking him to justify exactly why it was that his sale had not been counted.
Mr. Goodwin, despite his smiling demeanour, and his happy countenance – to be fair most people thought that was the same look he had when he was in a foul temper and likely to fly off the handle – was now sitting quizzically asking Mr. Gollum to justify exactly what had happened during the week with the Leith contest.
Mr. Gollum opened his mouth ready to start but before he could, Mr. Goodwin said, “at the beginning of this year Mr Gollum, we all had a meeting at headquarters and the rules were all made aware to us and the biggest rule and most obvious is that your people would not intervene unless there was a clear and obvious reason to do so. I cannot see why it was that it was felt by Mr. McDermid that there was a clear and obvious reason for him to intervene. That sale should have stood, and we should have been given the advantage and by the end of the day in terms of the greatest sales that have been accrued for any of the franchises we should have been put up that ladder. That’s the big great thing about the Leith game for us Mr Gollum. We believe the sale should have stood you will no doubt go on and speak about it yourself maybe early on next week and give your own feelings on it Mr Gollum but let me be abundantly clear we here depend upon results and to disallow that sale the way it was disallowed with no real conclusive evidence is simply not acceptable. it’s not within the rules,”
Having vented his feelings, Mr Gollum looked down at his notes, looked up at Mr. Goodwin and opened his mouth.
Before he could talk Mr. Goodwin said, “I am sure that you will correct me if I’m wrong but each of the franchises is paying over a hundred thousand pounds a year for the equipment that Mr. McDermid has been abusing. I don’t think we have the best in the business here I don’t think we have the best technology available, and I think that if we were all able to pay a little bit more to make sure that we get better technology that perhaps would help you. Mr Gollum, is that not right?”
Mr Gollum again looked down at his notes and then looked up again in order to speak before he did, Mr. Goodwin stood up wandered round his table and sat on the edge directly above Mr Gollum he said, “it’s all about money at the end of the day it comes down to the investment I am not one at this moment in time for throwing that technology in the bin. I don’t think that is the way forward. I think we’ve just got to get better at using the technology, Mr Gollum. Well?”
Mr Gollum looked at his notes, looked up at Mr. Goodwin, smiled, nodded, and rose, standing just a little below the eye level of Mr. Goodwin, as he was a little shorter than this tangerine adversary.
Mr Gollum smiled, turned on his heel and walked to the door. Opening the door, he turned and swivelled on his heels, looking back at Mr. Goodwin, this time determined to speak before Mr. Goodwin did.
Mr. Goodwin opened his mouth, about to have the final word before Mr Gollum said, “Mr. Goodwin, your opinion has been noted, and we will take it into account, and indeed, act upon it in accordance with the best interests of all concerned. I have noted what you have said, and I have noted that you do not believe that Mr. Dalby’s sale should have been discounted. We may look at better equipment, but for the moment, we have what we have, and I shall put that into the report.”
He taps at his folder, opens the door, and walks out, closing it.
By the time he got to the car in the car park, the blank pages in the folder to which he had been referring all the time, as a means to allow Mr. Goodwin to vent and get it off his chest, rather than get into some form of spat, was something that came to him the night before, watching some live-action comedy on a Saturday night, where a certain tangerine autocrat was berating a democrat in some kind of reality television show.
Having watched it several times, he thought to himself, we may have done something wrong, we may have got something wrong, we may have done something stupid or daft, but there is no way in this earth that I am going to get into an argument where I’m going to look as daft and stupid as that guy with funny hair did.
And so, throwing the sheets of paper in his folder into the back seat, the only one with any wording on it fell out and onto the floor. And as Mr Gollum looked again at it, he read the legendary words, just let him talk, before getting in the car and driving off, knowing damn fine, that no matter what it was that Mr. Goodwin said, the only thing that would change would be he would have to write some words on the blank sheets.
The rest would remain the same, as it were.
Whilst the author asserts his right to this as an original piece of work there is no evidence, unless you know differently that Willie Collum has ever called anything “my precious”, so this is clearly a work of fiction.
The fact is that in a 3-1 defeat with Hibernian, at home there was a disallowed goal which Dundee United boss Jim Goodwin claimed was “not within the rules” and had had a meeting with chief referee Willie Collum to discuss the matter – he was still not happy and claimed in the press that, “I said after the game if somebody showed me an angle that proved my statement after the game was wrong then I would apologise, but I stand by everything that I said… I am not going to go into too much detail with regards to the type of conversation we had and Willie’s views. I just said to Willie that we all had a meeting at Hampden at the beginning of the season and the IFAB rules were all made aware to us and the biggest rule probably is that ‘clear and obvious’ one. The VAR can only intervene with an on-field decision if they have got significant footage that shows there was a clear and obvious error and I think from the audio – and from the video angles that we have seen – there is no suggestion of a hand ball within the Sam Dalby goal’. So that is the big gripe for us. We believe the goal should have stood. Willie will no doubt speak about it himself, maybe in the early part of next week, and give his own feelings on it. To disallow a goal the way it was disallowed on Wednesday night with no real conclusive evidence is not within the rules – it is as simple as that. I am led to believe that each club in the Premiership is paying in excess of £100,000 a year for the equipment. Now, I don’t think that we are paying for the top VAR package that is available and it is just whether clubs are willing to pay that little bit more to make sure that we get even more camera angles. If we had the different camera angles that they have got in the English Premier League then you would be able to see 100% whether that ball was in or out [in the recent Hibernian-Celtic game]. The same with the Sam Dalby one – had we had a better VAR system in place then there might have been better camera angles to show whether there was a hand ball or not. It is all about money at the end of the day, it comes down to the investment. I am not one, at this moment in time, for throwing VAR in the bin. I don’t think that is the way forward, I just think we have got to get better at using the technology.” Now VAR may not be a lettuce, but I wonder how many managers will outlast VAR?
This article is a personal view and does not reflect the views of the SFSA regarding the SFA’s Head of Refereeing, whom we support in his efforts to improve the standards of refereeing across our game.
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Tags: oor Donald, Scottish football