BILLY BREMNER MEMORIAL JOIN OUR CAMPAIGN
Date: 13th April 2024
Once upon a time… in a land not far, far away, but near and close…
There was a man…
In charge of the women…
And he lived in in a Den called Hump. And when people who lived in that Den got vibes that were bad, they took a bigger hump. Some people said they had a right hump.
But those people tended to be from the place down south. This was a place where the people in the Den thought all things were bright and worthy of copying like names of things.
One day the people in the Den decided that they would get a new person for the women.
They wanted someone from a land further away and they called him Mr. Losa – actually his mother and his father gave him that name but the people in the Den liked to think they had a hand in everything and claimed credit for almost anything being done by someone else in the same game as them…
And So, Mr. Losa arrived with a fanfare, but some fans said it wisnae fair, cos they didnae know him or what his game was like…
Then, one day, Mr. Losa suddenly thought that the game might finally be up…
And Mr. Losa was not a happy man…
In fact, apparently and allegedly, Mr. Losa was pure raging…
Picture the scene…
A late evening in the Den and Mr. Losa is alone in his room. The Den has never looked more lovely, since the previous tenants, who Mr. Losa thought were responsible for the local parks departments in honour of the monarch, had left. Someone had told him that they had to leave because the Queen died, and they had to move to a Lesser Place.
But he had noticed that they were back and, in the Den, once more. Mr. Losa thought that might be because they were now the King’s Players and not the Queen’s, but everyone told him that was a stupid idea, so he never repeated it.
But Mr. Losa was not so sure he was not wrong. He had an instinct about these things. Mr. Losa believed he was never wrong. Even if he was wrong, he never believed it.
It was his policy.
This evening, he believed he was right to be “pure raging.”
He had been sitting in his room contemplating when he noticed the newspapers in the corner. Mr. Losa had not noticed these before as he had been told that the Den had stopped having them delivered because they were filled with fake news.
Mr. Losa had heard of fake news. There was some big orange guy in America who made it and then sold it to some Wonka factory in Glasgow and they sold it to people all around the world who were gullible. Mr. Losa was not gullible. He knew what was right – he had an instinct. Mr. Losa believed he was never wrong. Even if he was wrong, he never believed it.
So, he picked up one of the newspapers and read. It was the week before the Slovakians were to visit the Den and Mr. Losa was hoping to be the perfect host. He had organised all sorts of nice things for them. . Mr. Losa believed that the goal of the visit was to allow plenty of corners for the Slovakians to launch decent opportunities to reach a goal, which Mr. Losa thought they could quite easily accommodate as he had managed that for the Dutch and English folk.
He though the last eight visits had been really positive as the Scots had been the perfect hosts and visitors, giving their visitors and hosts in return such wonderful opportunities and gifts.
But Mr. Losa noticed that the media people who wrote these newspapers wanted him to be mean and nasty. They were calling for him to stop being such a good guy and turn into a meanie. Mr. Losa was no meanie. Mr. Losa believed he should be generous to everyone and Mr. Losa believed he was never wrong. Even if he was wrong, he never believed it.
He looked around his room and found the knitting he had been doing. In an attempt to get to know the women he was in charge of, he had decided to try and get some womanly things under his belt so had even tried washing up at home.
He ripped all his knitting out…
Just then one of the secretaries popped their head into the room. Non-binary Lindsay was looking to find out if Mr. Losa needed anything before heading off for the night. They noticed that Mr. Losa was evidently unhappy and noticed that the poison apple of the newspapers had been touched. Lindsay realised that his was serious.
Mr. Losa could go off on one…
Mr. Losa could get really, really scared…
Mr. Losa could end up in a deep coma with shock…
Lindsay entered the room swiftly, got out some of the non-bio wipes and started on Mr. Losa’s brow. With a soothing, there, there, there and a few moments of gently speaking softly into his ear, Mr. Losa was soon off to sleepy bye, byes…
But deep in the bowels of the Den, there were malevolent spirits at work who knew that Mr. Losa was not the man to run the women., in fact, there was a radical spirit, who believed that there were women who could lead the women, like they had done before. How did that spirit not be the one in charge? Only the malevolent spirts knew why not and they had been fooled by the exotic when they ought to have known about the possibility that Mr. Losa might not be the man for the job, partly because he was a man…
As Mr. Losa was drifting into his deep sleep, all he could repeat were the phrases, “totally manipulated” and “not acceptable” over and over again… Lindsay knew what he meant but knew that the truth, would set them all free… at some time… hopefully soon…
Whilst the author asserts his right to this as an original piece of work there is no evidence that Pedro Martinez Losa has ever taken up knitting or does the washing up at home, unless you know differently, so, this is clearly a piece of fiction, though a couple of his recently quoted phrases have been used.
The fact is that prior to the win against Slovakia, Scotland Women’s National Team (SWNT) head coach Pedro Martinez Losa hit out at a “totally manipulated” and “not acceptable” narrative around his team. He was widely quoted as thus: “Finally we won a competitive game, that’s it isn’t it? That was something very recurring. Not only did we win a competitive game, but we had 70% of possession. We’ve conceded one goal in the last four games. Even though in friendlies it doesn’t count for some journalists. We are happy with four points – a good route for what we want for qualification. We knew the difficulties of Slovakia on the ball especially. I think the team showed a lot of character. I’m proud of my players because they played in a narrative totally manipulated that is not acceptable.” The fact is that under Losa, Scotland’s women have struggled as they have been relegated to League B in the Nations League, including 4-0 and 6-0 thrashings by Holland and England, failed to qualify for the 2023 World Cup after losing 1-0 to the Republic of Ireland in a play-off final at Hampden and were winless in eight, but won some friendlies. The jury is, as they say, deliberating, hopeful that winning becomes something which is “very recurring”…
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Tags: Hampden Park, Scotland, Scottish football, SFA