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Our Donald – Mr. Ward reads the riot act…

Date: 26th August 2023

Annual General Meetings can be fraught affairs.

For some people, the move back to face to face was welcome for all meetings because it meant that people had to behave better. There were plenty of people who took the opportunity of being in their own space, with their own mug, and own brew to just spout off at people.

Back in a room it is somewhat easier for people to get along…

As they say, theories are all very well…

Picture the scene…

It is the Livingston Lions’ Nursery and Early Years Centre Annual General Meeting at their Headquarters. Always just called the Nut Hut on account of it being in Almond – vale, since they got that new marketing woman in, it has had a variety of sponsored names, but nobody really takes account of the new names anymore. And the kids just always call it the Nut Hut on account of the big acorn at the front door which somebody drew thinking it was an almond…

Mr. Ward has been in early and set out the chairs. He is also the chair himself so there were lots and lots of dad joke badinage with the Jannie about the chair putting out chairs… The Jannie thought that was his job and that Mr. Ward should get lost and let him get on with it, but Mr. Ward had some notion of Icelandic parliaments.

“You see,” he explained. “In Iceland, they designed the parliament to avoid conflict. Instead of all the MPs, or whatever they are called, sitting opposite each other they assembled them in a circle.”

The Jannie looked puzzled and made the fatal mistake of asking a question. “So, they would all be opposite each other.”

Mr. Ward looked at the Jannie with some concern. Clearly used to more intelligent questions, Mr. Ward decided to be beneficent on this occasion and not take the mickey.

“Oh no!” he declared. “They sit next to each other. A member of one party does not get to sit besides a member of their own party. It makes the chamber more cooperative. And I want that principle to apply here. Tonight.”

The Jannie looked at Mr. Ward with ill disguised concern.

“They’s move them,” he pronounces before leaving Mr. Ward to contemplate his future.

Just then the door opens and in walks the manager, Mr. Martindale. Mr. Martindale has been a fixture at the Centre since it had been acquired by the same group as held the Holiday Homes close by, which he also still managed.

He looked a worried man.

He looked at the chairs in the room. His worry deepened. “What’s all this?” he asks.

Mr. Ward is about to explain when Mr. Martindale waves him off. “Never mind just now they have only decided to go to court!”

“What?” exclaims an astonished Mr. Ward. “But they can’t!”

“Well, they have!” exclaims an exasperated Mr. Martindale.

“We’ve got people lined up. they are looking to invest. Big money. In us. Here. A court case would ruin all that! RUIN IT!” The veins on Mr. Ward’s head are popping.

Just then there is a knock at the door and in walks Mr. Devlin. Seen by most as the senior member of staff, the captain of the ship, if you will, he takes one look at the chairs and makes his feelings clear by the look on his face before launching into a tirade.

”Glad I have you two here, what’s going on?” Before either could answer, he answers his own question. “I will tell you, will I? Chaos. WE are trying to run a business here and YOU TWO are not giving us much to go on. And what about all the wee secret meetings. It does nothing, by the way, nothing for staff morale. You two need to sort this out. And sort out the chairs in here. There’s a meeting coming in and it’s vitally important.” He casts his eye around the room again, “this looks like some of the weans have got in during the night and flung the chairs about…”

Mr. Ward is about to explain the entire Icelandic concept when the Jannie flings open the door and the membership flood through. The AGM is now in session.

Mr. Ward’s face is a picture as the first item of business being conducted is … moving the chairs…

 

Whilst the author, asserts his right to this as an original piece of work there is no evidence that Mr. Ward, CEO of Livingston FC has ever used the theories of the Icelandic Parliament in any meeting, unless you know differently, so this is clearly a piece of fiction.

The fact is that all joking aside, there is a mess at Livingston FC in the background as two former directors are taking them to court and significant losses are predicted. According to Livingston CEO John Ward, in the Daily Mail, the club “cannot sustain the losses it has made in the last two years and says an “ongoing court dispute with shareholders and one ex-director” is driving potential investors away.”


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