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There’s No Excuse…

Date: 1st February 2025

There’s No Excuse…

There’s an old Les Dawson joke when he says that he has three children, one of each. It is very dated now, and because of the rise of LGBTQIA+, there is less, and less humour contained within it. I have considerably more than three children, and the joke could be recast. I have a number of children who are L or G, though I’m not aware of them being B or T yet.

One of the things that, over the last 40 years that I am aware of, is just how difficult it is for people who are any of those to operate within the context of the modern world. From social media to micro-aggressions in the street, to standing in the queue at any supermarket, to standing on a platform in a railway station, to any social circumstance or situation that is in the public domain, being able to act in a manner where you feel able to be yourself, whilst also feeling safe, is a luxury.

Now, I am not saying that the revelations this week for Premier League referee David Coote hiding his sexuality which he claims led to his appalling behaviour was an excuse for that behaviour. But I do think that what we have to do is take a moment to reflect, even in 2025, at how you are able to behave in private when you are so publicly operating as a Premier League referee.

He spoke of deeply unpleasant abuse he received during his career, and I can imagine just exactly what would have happened had he added in that his sexuality was allegedly different from the vast majority of people who are screaming and bawling abuse at him. The fact of the matter is that bullies will target the one aspect of their victims that is different from them, often because it is a part of themselves that they struggle with, but effectively they diminish the people that they attempt to attack on the basis of just one aspect of that personality, and it can be not just abuse, it can be exceptionally threatening.

Coote has spoken of a deep sense of shame when he came out during his 20s, but much of that, and rightly so, was hidden from people. It is nobody’s business, what sexuality, an official at any game or in any sport, happens to be. Speaking of being in a dark place when he has been caught, it is something I recognise, not in so far as with my own children, but with a number of people who have struggled with their sexuality over the years and found themselves in a deeply dark place.

However, it is also not an excuse.

Once again, before people get all holier than thou over it happening in a place away from here, the news then broke of the latest managerial casualty in Scottish football.

Being in a dark place over your team losing games is certainly no excuse for the people who decided that they were going to attack Stuart Kettlewell as the Motherwell manager. Kettlewell, and his family have been victims of terrible abuse, he claims. It is unfortunate that now synonymous with Motherwell is going to be that abuse. It is a fan-owned club and whilst that doesn’t mitigate against the abuse that anybody receives from Motherwell or any other club’s supporter, it does bring into question just exactly how much influence that the board has on the people that they are representing to run the club.

There is no, absolutely no, excuse for the types of abuse that are thrown at people in football for their inability to do their job. Whilst Cootes has spoken of himself and his late mother being the target of death threats, Kettlewell has not come out to tell us exactly what the nature of the threats against him have been or the exact nature of that abuse but five minutes on the internet is all you need.

Kettlewell had the highest win percentage of their last seven managers. Sure, Motherwell had fallen to fifth and their last four games had not been great, but the vast majority of pundits and indeed supporters, I’m quite sure, in Motherwell understood that within the context of the club itself, he was doing a decent job. They had even gone in a 10-game unbeaten run last season where they just missed out on the top six. They even got to a semi-final this season, which for a club of Motherwell’s stature was a decent result.

So, Motherwell are now looking for a new manager and the referees in England are looking to reflect and protect.

At the Scottish Football Supporters Association, we have run a campaign looking to recruit new referees in, and it is tough to do that when the types of abuse are hitting headlines like this. There is little doubt there will be a string of applications for the Motherwell job. After all, it’s a decent post within a very good football club who are sitting poised within the Scottish Premiership as Kettlewell has left it in a very good place.

But the one question that is consistently being brought to people’s attention is just exactly what behaviour is acceptable and why is it that keyboard warriors think they can throw abuse that if it was in the street, they would be arrested for it. If authorities don’t act in some way or we find these people and bring them to book that this form of abuse is likely to drive more and more good people into dark places that will see them being even more intolerantly treated and that is not going to be the betterment of any game, no matter whether it’s football or any other sport.


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