OFFSET YOUR WORLD CUP TRAVEL WITH GREENERTRAVEL
Date: 16th April 2026
Even the dugs in Dumbarton
By Donald C Stewart
A sketchy and humorous look at the outpourings of the great, the good and the not so good of Scottish fitba’ by Donald C Stewart. Readers are warned that if they take this seriously then therapy is available – just let us know where you find it so we can pass it on to others…
Some wits on the south side of the River Clyde, generally about the Paisley and Greenock areas, have suggested that Dumbarton FC’s slide down League Two, has led to a mass suicide from the Dugs in Dumbarton.
Recently highlighted by the Bell News Agency, the Overtoun Bridge in Dumbarton has seen pure hunners of dugs throwing themselves aff it in some form of bizarre suicide phenomenon.
The news of this doggy suicide has gone as far as the New York Times, who reported that this as a “Dog Suicide Bridge”, accompanied with estimates of dugs who have gone over the bridge, hitting 600.
It is certainly true that the recent history of Dumbarton FC has been riddled with problems, issues and many wits in Dumbarton scratching their heads over just exactly what has happened with this once great club.
Having moved from their previous stadium at, Boghead, into the Rock Stadium, which has had so many names that nobody can remember what it’s called, everybody can still find it due to the big rock beside it. It’s a bit like leaving the spare keys under a plant pot in the front garden, in case you lose yours…
The football club seems to have lurched from one ownership model to another and from one plan to another for finding somewhere else to place their ground away from The Rock. But how shall we ever find it again…
The big worry for supporters is that having built a one-sided four-side stadium way back in 2000, Dumbarton FC have found themselves, slowly sliding towards the lower leagues.
This season, they find themselves flirting with the wrong type of play offs, though have maintained their SPFL status. Having been bought over by a Canadian, the hope is that his many millions are going to bring some succulent lamb time to the Sons of the Rock.
Meanwhile, wits across the river have pointed to the fact that, even the dugs in Dumbarton can’t take it anymore.
Of course, the investigation into the Overtoun Bridge has come up with a more prosaic reason as to why dugs have jumped off it.
The reason seems that there are mink below the bridge, with a significant smell, which attracts the dugs who want to chase them. Sons of the Rock have suggested it is just the smell wafting across the Clyde… generally from the Greenock/Paisley area and the dugs are just chasing easy prey…
When people have asked for the evidence as to how many dugs have been affected and committed suicide you are sent to a Wikipedia page. The author of the Wikipedia page has admitted that all he did was work out that it was a number who died at some particular point, and multiply them by numbers that were not made up, but were focused on some fact that could have been invented, and then he came up with a number which would appear to have been actually made up.
So, the Overtoun Bridge is not necessarily the disaster that the dugs all thought or were telling us it was, but there are still gigglers in Greenock and Paisley who are still pointing and saying, well, you never know.
The reality is that divining just exactly what a dug thinks is about as difficult as working out for some what has been going on at Dumbarton FC over the last few years.
Posted in: Fan's Blog, Latest News
Tags: Dumbarton, oor Donald, Scottish football