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Date: 19th May 2024
“Where is he?” came the cry!
It is the 2024, Hide and Seek World Championships at the Rugby Park Stadium in Kilmarnock and after fifty minutes of looking, the other 15 competitors are almost ready to throw in the towel.
They simply cannot find local hero, and Scottish, British and European Champion, Mr. Boyd.
And boy, have they tried…
Picture the scene…
A May evening in the sunshine.
Rare enough in Scotland to have such a balmy evening but as the sun begins to set and people start to lift their mobile phones to the sky, hoping for yet another example of a delicious sunset, Mr. Boyd is absent.
Northern Irish champion, Mr. Lennon, had counted to 100 with his eyes tight shut and then when he opened them, opened the door on the other 14 international competitors who were shut away in a darkened room close by. Off they went seeking and searching for signs of Mr. Boyd.
They went under stairs, through cupboards and even drew up a search rota to try and discover his whereabouts, but he was literally nowhere to be seen.
Fifteen minutes in, coming close to the previous record for this competition by English champion Mr. Beale. Beale, in a two way competition eliminator in Govan and Sunderland had found himself the centre of English complaints that he wasn’t hiding well enough at the beginning of this long season. And today, Mr. Boyd was showing his mastery of the art of not being seen, creeping closer to the record set by Beale in Govan – the longest hiding sequence, but unfortunately for Beale, the Sunderland competition was his downfall as he recorded the shortest time missing.
By half an hour in, there was disquiet in the ranks as people began to feel that perhaps the advantage that Mr. Boyd had, as this was a place well known to him and for all intents and purposes was his “home”, was too much of an advantage. They had followed their plan and believed that they had looked everywhere it could be that a human was hiding and simply could not find him. Some though he was a fiction of their imagination and never existed at all.
But Mr. Lennon knew he did. Mr. Lennon began to feel something was just not right. Had Mr. Boyd cheated?
At forty minutes in, a huge shout went up as they thought they had found him, only to reveal that previous English champion Mr. Warnock had been found in a cupboard, trying to lay claim to some kind of right to representing Scotland because of his Aberdeenshire heritage. That began a furious debate for all of ten minutes until someone pointed out that he had been hunted out of Aberdeen earlier in the season so even they didn’t want him associated with them so he could not claim any sort of Scottish connection…
By fifty minutes they were beat.
This was a world record by a massive distance. It was one that people were unlikely to ever beat.
Surely Mr. Boyd would show himself now?
At this point almost all the other competitors were sitting on the steps contemplating failure.
But not, Mr. Lennon.
Suddenly, he had an idea.
About ten minutes into this part of the competition he had heard a car start up.
Surely not, he began to think.
Up until that point Mr. Lennon had been odds on for the championship…
Between him and the Irish representative, a Mr. Rodgers, there was little between them but then Mr. Boyd would not take well to being beaten by the likes of either of them.
Just then, once more Mr. Lennon heard a car. He looked over towards the car park and in the shadow of the hotel nearby, he saw a dark saloon draw up, a shadowy figure get out of the driver’s seat, open the boot, and out popped a figure not unlike Mr. Boyd.
Mr. Lennon left the rest of the competitors and flew down towards the side exit where Mr. Boyd appeared…
Imagine the surprise on the face of Mr. Boyd when the first person he sees when he gets to the door which should be the beginning of his end of season triumph, is a smiling Mr. Lennon…
Whilst the author asserts his right to this as an original piece of work there is no evidence that Kris Boyd has ever cheated at Hide and Seek, unless you know differently, so, this is clearly a piece of fiction.
The fact is that whist Kris Boyd has been the “mainstay” of Sky Sport’s coverage of the Scottish premiership season, as Celtic celebrated on the Rugby Park turf, having gubbed them 5-0, and won the Premiership title for the third year in a row, at the ground Kris Boyd made his name, Boyd was nowhere to be seen on the pitch. He left it to Neil Lennon, James McFadden and Eilidh Barbour to broadcast from there as he scrolled through his phone in the gantry… next season, Boydy, next season…
Posted in: Latest News
Tags: Celtic, Kilmarnock