Taxi to Paradise By Donald C Stewart

Date: 31st October 2025

Taxi to Paradise

By Donald C Stewart

A sketchy and humorous look at the outpourings of the great, the good and the not so good of Scottish fitba’ by Donald C Stewart. Readers are warned that if they take this seriously then therapy is available – just let us know where you find it so we can pass it on to others…

 

Reports have emerged that black cab taxi drivers in Glasgow are bemused by the next but final announcement by Mr Rodgers formerly of Parkhead.

He had apparently suggested that the current taxi rank should no longer have anything other than Ferraris in it. A few days later he appeared to be looking for Morris Minor with a light up top…

Following not just one but two games of underwhelming performances, though the second one, against Sturm Graz, ended in a win, Mr Rodgers was quick to point out that his team was motoring along like a Honda Civic in the premiership rising to a Range Rover Sport for Europe whilst people seemed to expect Ferraris parked outside of Parkhead.

He then went on to suggest that he was specifically trying to avoid any Morris Minors turning up. A bemused Mr Desmond was seen skulking in a corridor in the background sharpening something…

Many supporters were quick to scream and bawl that at least this had not been about parking a bus.

However, the motoring references left many in the city centre, and beyond, absolutely bemused.

One taxi driver, aged 25 from Dundee, was heard to mutter that he had never driven a Honda Civic, and he thought the only time he was aware of a Morris Minor, being completely unaware of what one is, he thought that was something you would find in the Imperial War Museum.

Whether found in the museum or not, Mr Rodgers was quick to point out that he shared this desire for Ferraris outside and some wit suggested he was hoping would oh-purr soon.

Certainly, purring amongst the faithful on the terraces at Parkhead was the feeling that, if they had not been able to get close to Ferrari Fever by now, that perhaps they would need to get closer very soon, and then came the news that Mr Rodgers would be hanging his coat and laying his hat elsewhere…

Some people had even muttered that having Lewis Hamilton drive the team bus would not have allowed Mr. Rodgers to keep his job, given that he, Mr Hamilton that is, was at least a fully employed Ferrari driver.

Some in Govan were quick to point out that Ferrari were not having a particularly good season in Formula One, having been smashed by the likes of McLaren and Red Bull. Though many in Govan are loath to make comparisons with anyone else right now… There is no confirmation as to what it is that Mr Rohl, the new manager at Rangers, drives. Perhaps getting the keys to a McLaren, given the riches that were promised from the new American owners, would be possible.

Whatever analogy Mr Rodgers was attempting, during his final press conferences, it has left many scratching their head just exactly how you would describe his tenure.

The Skodas of this world, down in Leagues 1 and 2, are perhaps never going to be in the same race as Glasgow Celtic, but second time round Mr Rodgers certainly produced stylish racing cars. There are many around the Premiership who will be looking at their car parks during training and thinking that Mr Rodgers was dealing with an indulgent problem rather than a real one.

After all, the number of top of the range cars in the car park at Parkhead, belonging to underperforming stars, would perhaps be the first place that new and auld boss, Mr O’Neill shall be looking.

Across in Edinburgh, of course, the Ferrari that is purring in Tynecastle continues to be several points ahead, coming close to one-quarter of the way through the season, having seen off Mr Rodger’s challenge and seemingly Mr Rodgers too. However, Mr McInnes of Gorgie Road, has not informed anybody of what it was that ferried him from Kilmarnock to Edinburgh, but people are concerned that it was perhaps a Red Bull, which gave him and Heart of Midlothian wings. There is no truth in the rumour that the maroon team bus is driven by Formula 1 World Champion, Max Verstappen.

In other news concern has been arisen over the whereab

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Tags: Celtic, Celtic Park, oor Donald