Angry Man speaks out at Dundee by Donald C Stewart

Date: 10th October 2025

Angry Man speaks out at Dundee

A sketchy and humorous look at the outpourings of the great, the good and the not so good of Scottish fitba’ by Donald C Stewart. Readers are warned that if they take this seriously then therapy is available – just let us know where you find it so we can pass it on to others…

 

Reports have emerged from the Northeast that Dundee have found themselves a star-gazing angry man in Mr Hay.

Three goals and 23 appearances for Cheltenham Town last season in League Two was enough of a promise for Dundee to splash out and bring Mr Hay up to city of jam, jute, journalism, and hope for some joy at goals scored.

Having arrived in Scottish football, Mr Hay has found it particularly difficult to get his first goal and has identified the person with whom he is particularly angry. This apparently happened because he is well known for aiming for the stars…

In Dundee.

People in Perth have already inundated phone ins with sceptical comments…

Having spoken of how, when he was playing down in English League Two, feeding off scraps and having to play kick it and run football, he was frustrated, he was seduced by the tales of silky soccer that is to be expected under new manager Mr Pressley. Apparently, it was a no brainer to come to Dundee.

People in Perth have claimed that is an accurate description of people already living in Dundee.

However, Mr Hay spoke to the Courier of his anger at someone halting his success. He was absolutely furious with him, allegedly.

Now going into games against the likes of St Mirren and Aberdeen may be different from the lower reaches of the English League, however, Mr Hay was clear that he has a plan, and pressure should be applied on him to fulfil it.

Tough games are coming thick and fast, according to the cliché, for the Dark Blues, not least against the struggling Dandy Dons last weekend.

However, Mr Hay has continued to talk to anyone who would listen, or read the Courier, including Mr Pressley, his long, short-suffering manager, about how he is learning a lot: including his teammates, the league, and, for some fans, surprisingly, their playing style. Some Dundee fans have been suffering under the delusion allegedly that they didn’t have a playing style…

The Courier were keen to identify the mystery person who was holding Mr. Hay back whilst Mr Hay went on, talking of how his first goal was coming soon and he is going to bury it.

Having been previously with Brentford in London, Mr Hay came with enough pedigree that fans and supporters felt that they are going to see the best of him soon.

That, of course, would be music to the ears, not only of the players, of the supporters on the terraces, and also of Mr Pressley.

Those not unsubstantial ears have endured a great deal of abuse, given that Mr Pressley was nobody’s first choice amongst the terraces to take on the manager’s role.

Mr Hay talked about this being a different project for himself with new targets, and he knows where he wants to be at various stages of the season.

People in Perth identified a number of places that people from Dundee could go to, none of them pleasant and some of them physically impossible, unless you take a rib out…

Mr Hay’s confidence will come as comfort to most people on the terraces, as they believe that at various stages of every game, he should be somewhere in and about the penalty box facing goal and his boots whacking as many balls as possible into the big, large onion bag that is the net.

Hopefully this will be in the opposition half, of course, and not in his own.

Mr Hay eventually decided to reveal who it was that he was most angry at. It was Mr Hay.

That is not his brother, not his father, not any distant relative, but himself.

Therapy for multi personality disorders have been made available to anybody who may be affected by any of the issues that have been raised within this article.

In other news, Dundee’s Victoria and Albert Museum welcomed this week Alex from Bellshill, who was looking for any artwork that might be a Salvador Dali.

 

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Tags: Dundee, oor Donald